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Below are the 12 most recent journal entries.

	2008.10.09  07.32 hmmm...so I don't know what is wrong with me...the last 24 hours I have been all depressed and shit. I guess the economy doesn't help much. I just feel like everything is pointless. WE have to work but we don't ever get "to play" our paychecks last us from one to the next even though we are making about $50,000 a year. I owe everyfuckin hospital in the valley money, un top of it am being sued and my checks are going to be garnished, then my apt complex says they are going to charge us 50 bucks more a month starting in november. grrrrr not to mention gas is still considerably higher in ut than anywhere else pretty much. This saturday its supposed to snow, and i haven't bought emilia in winter clothes, we haven't paid our car insurance for the last like 3 months, so if i get pulled over, i'll probably go to jail. oh yeah, and bacho did get pulled over the other day in our rental and we owe the magical state of wyoming 350 bucks in tickets now. i seriously don't even see what the point to life is in the wonderful usa. it's just debt, debt, debt, bills,bills, bills. wtf? I am gonna move to peru and be poor and live in a concrete box that they call homes, and be happy. poor, but happy. it probably doesn't help that i am totally "baby hungry" emilia needs a baby sis or bro, and i wish we could give her one, but i really need to be responsible and get my shit taken care of before bringing another baby into the world. at the very least, i need to finish school, which if i can get my community service hours in, will be in may, finally. but even then, geez there are so many things we need to do before having another one. it's funny though, coz this girl at work thinks i am already preggo, (but i am not, i assure you) bc i was nautious the other day, and my sense of smell has been abnormally strong, and yesterday i got a charlie horse in my leg while i slept, which i have only ever gotten while i was pregnant. blah, blah, blah what else can i bitch about so i can get it all out of my syster?? life sucks. the end. peter, when are you bringing the weed? becca, you wanna bring the tent? lol

	2008.01.02  02.01 23 I'm sad today. Nothing happened today to make me feel that way though. I think it's just my overall dissatisfaction with people. It's weird, I am an adult in every aspect, but am still so damn naive about life. I expect that everyone is thoughtful, sincere, caring, etc, just because I am. That is so not the case, and I feel like I should have already learned this lesson years ago. But I am torn, even though I feel I should adjust my way of thinking in order to get through life easier, at the same time I feel like I shouldn't have to change myself. It just sucks because when people let me down, I take it way too personal and it hurts me so bad. I just can't believe how selfish,ungrateful, backstabbing, and hypocritical people can be. And of all places in Utah...isn't everyone supposed to be a happy, loving Mormon?? WTF? Hopefully, within a year I will be getting the hell out of Utah. Don't get me wrong...it's beautiful and I love it, but the people scare me. Once a month i get some crazy telling me that the earthquake is going to kill everyone and to get the hell out....and apparently all the "big love" stuff, actually happens all around. I'm just over it. I just want to get my degree. As soon as I do that, I can move to Maryland and hopefully have my family all back together. It's really weird where my life keeps taking me. I always thought I would live in Texas forever and ever amen. I don't even want to think anymore...I'm just getting sadder.

	2007.12.03  06.19 Lavernia revisited So I had crazy lavernia flashbacks today. Yeah, I know, it's only 6 am, what am I doing thinking about that. Well...today is my first day of work, so I had to get up to bring Bacho to work at 5, so that I could have the car for work. Well...everything was dandy, I had dropped off both Bacho and Emilia, when the aunt who watches her calls...I had forgotten to leave her the milk for Emilia. So I turned around and went back. Well, everything is super icy and I didn't want to risk falling on my ass, so instead of parking in her driveway, I stopped in front of the door. Well, to get out of there, I decided to turn around and backed my ass into her driveway...and I got stuck!!! OMG!! So I kept flooring it to try and get out of there, which didn't work, so I tried putting it in 4 wheel drive. Well...4 wheel drive my ass!!! It didn't flippin work!!! I even put it in neutral and tried pushing it...NOTHING!!!!! So I had to call Bacho, who had to borrow a truck from work and came to help. Well, he was doing everything I was doing and NOTHING!!!! He put wood planks under the tires and nothing. We both pushed from behind and nothing. I was looking for some hicks with chains and nothing! SO after about an hour of NOTHING!! I decided we should push it from the front since the road wasn't icy and FINALLY!!! we got it to move and....almost pushed it into the aunt's car...lol. So naturally I had to have a cigarette for old times sake to celebrate getting my 4 wheel drive Montero out of the ice. Becca...I totally feel for you.

	2007.02.09  00.51 "the dmv...or as i like to call it, Satan's Asshole" ~Dane Cook we've ALL been there and we ALL hate it!!!!!!!!!! but i seriously think the West Valley DMV has got to be the most out of control one there is. Their is a minimum of 2 hours of wait. They close at 5:30. We got there at 3 and they gave us a "stand by" number, meaning we might or might not get helped. so their was a possibility that we would wait 2 1/2 hours and end up being sent him. at 4 they stopped letting people in the door. everyone was just sitting there. and i don't usually think like this, but i found it extremely fishy that ALL the standby people were hispanic. WTF???? that can't be mere coincedence (SP?). We did make it to the line, but there wasnt enough time for bacho to take the test, so now we have to go back....i guess i should mention the fact that we got pulled over for having expired registration...WOOOOOOOO 3 for 3 (i really need to stop procrastinating so much) it expired dec, but they give you 30 days; they stopped us the 3rd....for 4 f-ing days...grrr..so we got that taken care, but bachos license is expired and for some unknown reason they are making him take the written test...blah blah blah and we have to go to court...luckily court here isn't too bad, unfortunately i know from expierence. Not like San Antonio...who did i go with?? Peter?? it was you right....what was the judges name??? remember he was my hero, but no one knew where he was and everyone kept sending us on wild goose chases....fun times i officially hate the snow..up until now i had still pretty much been in the "honeymoon" stage, but Thursday it started snowing while i was at the U and i didn't have a hoodie or beanie or scarf or anything. I couldn't see coz the snow would go in my eyeballs and i was inhaling it as well. oh yeah, and my biggest fear is that i am going to die in some tragic snow accident, perhaps slipping on the mushy ice. i hate it, i walk all super slow. It's terribly sad when it hits 32 degrees and i'm taking my jacket or sweater off coz i am hot. i have been ruined for life. we've actually hit the 50's for the last couple of days, which has been nice. walgreens is trying to suck me back into its magical hell. i got a call about the senior beauty advisor position. Bertha is being transfered and they want me to apply. I want to take the job, but not for 7.75 thats bullshit...it would all go to babysitters...so i am going to the interview tomorrow and i make it known that i need to be paid more...otherwise i won't do it. i have enough on my hands with school, and the babies...oops, i mean the baby and Bacho. well, i have been up since 5:15 this morning and need some sleep, mucho, mucho of it. Mood: tired

	2007.01.27  01.27 "I'm a gym member. I try to go 4 times/week, but I've missed the last... 12 hundred" ~Chandler Totally me! I have had my membership for like a year, supposedly to stay fit throughout my pregnancy, which kinda worked sometimes,but not really. Then when I had Emilia, forget it, I didn't have the time. Then it was the excuse of where to leave her. So we decided to upgrade our membership so as to include the playroom for her. Just 15 bucks a month more. The thing is we did this almost a month ago, and were doing really good about going. Until the diarrea fest began and Emilia was sick for so long, I couldn't do anything other than change her diarrea butt!! so we finally made it back today. It was such a good workout. Like I haven't had since senior year when i was on my "quest for haasness" in order to look good for prom. I did cardio for a whole hour!!! and i didn't pass out, and i didn't want to puke!! i really hope i can keep this up!! i really need to keep it up. i still have 10 lbs of baby fat to lose ON TOP OF the fat i already needed to lose prior, so it's going to take a lot of hard work, dedication, and PATIENCE!! but at least i have taken the first step. lets just hope nothing gets in the way again!! Mood: energetic

	2007.01.24  02.53 back from the dead I am officially back. It has been quite a long time, with some life changing events, and in the end, I come back to LJ. Is that sad?? lol Well, let's see....I'll just start it off in the present. I started school again last Tuesday. I managed to cram all 5 classes into t/h, it was more practical that way. I like my classes, mostly because they are easy and I expect to get good grades. With the exception of my writing class, it is extremely upper level and I don't know how well I will do, but I enjoy it nonetheless. My prof is this bad ass, hippie guy. he's always saying things straight out of the 70s. Oh, I don't actually like my "survey of jazz" class, but it knocks out two requirements at once, so i'll have to put up with it. Except for that class, all of my classes have 50 students or less, so it hasn't actually been too much of a shock for me. it almost feels like UIW, just add in like 2 miles of walking everyday!!! to sum it up, i am content with school my emmy!!! i've gotta talk about her!!! she is so awesome!!!! (i think i need a few more !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ok, got it out of my system) She is what makes the world go round (anyone remember what that is from?) lol. she has the cutest grin, it just overtakes her whole face and she scrunches her nose all up...it's the cutest. and she is most definitely in her 'ants in her pants' stage right now. she cannot sit still for even one second. even when she drinks her bottle she does flip after flip and i have to somehow manage to keep the bottle in her mouth or she screams at me. she has quite the temper! and definitely has me whipped. for now that is ok, but little does she know, that will soon be changing. she is starting to crawl, but can't quite seem to completely figure it out and falls after a couple of crawls, so mostly she rolls and drags herself around to get what she wants. her laughter makes my day, it is this uncontrollable, hysterical chuckle. well, i think that is about it on Emilia for now seeing as that it is late, i must go now, but be on the look out for my next post very soon

	2005.06.27  13.41 new blog you can catch me and my salt lake city antics at http://meesespieces.blogspot.com

	2004.11.29  22.42 Dame otra tequila Que suerte que hoy te pase a ti No sabes lo que yo sufri Entiende que no eres nada, Solo fuiste un mal aprendiz Hoy le brindo a tu dolor Hoy la suerte me llego Ya no puedo mas rencor Dame otro tequila Para olvidarme de tu amor Tu nombre esposado, Mi camisa grande te quedó Dame otro tequila, Este te lo pago yo Es para que entiendas que ahora estoy mucho mejor (Aja mucho mejor) ¿Qué historia me depara a mi? Un tributo te brindo al fin Ensayo mi despedida En ese tren no me vuelvo a subir Hoy le brindo a tu dolor Hoy la suerte me llego Ya no puedo mas rencor Dame otro tequila Para olvidarme de tu amor Tu nombre esposado, Mi camisa grande te quedó Dame otro tequila, Este te lo pago yo Es para que entiendas Que ahora estoy mucho mejor Mmmmm... mucho mejor sin ti. Jajaja y con este tequila mmmm. ¿Quién quiere otro tequila? Pero del bueno ehhh, del bueno. Dame otro tequila Para olvidarme de tu amor Tu nombre esposado, Mi camisa grande te quedó Dame otro tequila, Este te lo pago yo Es para que entiendas Que ahora estoy mucho mejor Dame otro tequila, dame otro tequila... Este te lo pago yo Es para que entiendas Que ahora estoy mucho mejor Si no lloro namas me acuerdo de el. Mi mariachi se fue...

	2004.11.28  22.44 Do you ever feel like breaking down? Do you ever feel out of place? Like somehow you just don't belong And no one understands you Do you ever wanna run away? Do you lock yourself in your room? With the radio on turned up so loud That no one hears you screaming No you don't know what it's like When nothing feels alright You don't know what it's like to be like me To be hurt To feel lost To be left out in the dark To be kicked When you're down To feel like you've been pushed around To be on the edge of breaking down When no one's there to save you No you don't know what it's like Welcome to my life Do you wanna be somebody else? Are you sick of feeling so left out? Are you desperate to find something more Before your life is over Are you stuck inside a world you hate? Are you sick of everyone around? With the big fake smiles and stupid lies But deep inside you're bleeding No you don't know what it's like When nothing feels alright You don't know what it's like to be like me To be hurt To feel lost To be left out in the dark To be kicked When you're down To feel like you've been pushed around To be on the edge of breaking down When no one's there to save you No you don't know what it's like Welcome to my life No one ever lies straight to your face And no one ever stabbed you in the back You might think I'm happy But I'm not gonna be ok Everybody always gave you what you wanted You never had to work it was always there You don't know what it's like What it's like To be hurt To feel lost To be left out in the dark To be kicked When you're down To feel like you've been pushed around To be on the edge of breaking down When no one's there to save you No you don't know what it's like To be hurt To feel lost To be left out in the dark To be kicked When you're down To feel like you've been pushed around To be on the edge of breaking down When no one's there to save you No you don't know what it's like Welcome to my life Welcome to my life Welcome to my life

	2004.07.15  17.19 Karen: "honey,i'd suck the alcohol out of a deodorant stick...so you're asking the wrong gal..."

	2004.04.16  16.40 so i have finally managed to make my journals completely friends only..i had started this process a few days ago...and with jennifer posting peters lj...i decided i should finish it up...

	2004.04.13  20.34 soon to be...